They say that “ignorance is stupid, crazy can be medicated, but that there’s no cure for stupid” and I have to say, I wholeheartedly agree.
I have a friend who will soon be in the throes of divorce. She was aware things weren’t “right” in her marriage for months and for months she tried to convince her husband that they needed to talk, that they needed to work at it, with or without outside help. Nothing convinced him, all pleading was refused and the mere mention of the words “marriage counselling” simply made him even more angry than he already was. You see, as much as everyone now vouches for the fact that it takes two to break up a marriage, that it’s never only one party’s fault etc etc, the opposite also applies: it takes two to fix a marriage! If your spouse is not going to cooperate you can’t fix it on your own. And, try as she might she got nowhere… Fast.
Months of this and then suspicions with regard to a younger (childless) female work colleague arose. Her husband denied anything was going on. For months. And then he got caught…
…and bizarrely, to begin with, he continued to deny…
…his answers to questions kind of depended on what side of the bed he got out, assuming you got any answers at all.
Now, this isn’t a story we’ve not heard before; in fact, many of us, myself included, have been there. Unfortunately, it’s all too common. But this one breaks my heart for various reasons. Obviously, it breaks my heart because she’s one of my best friends and no one wants to see their friend hurting. Obviously, it breaks my heart because there are three small children involved, one being only 1 year old. However, the reason it really breaks my heart, is that they are still in love. If you had all the details you’d literally just want to TOM & JERRY style bash him over the head with a frying pan to bring him back to reality (and slightly concuss him so that you can…) lock both of them in a room together until they TALK goddammit and SORT IT OUT!!! Anyone seen “Failure To Launch” with Matthew McConaughey? I feel like they need to have that ending scene done to them. I can’t do it: I’m more than a thousand miles away but oooooo if I weren’t I’d have done it already. I’m not saying it would work but at least they would have tried. “Stupid is as stupid does” and you do NOT throw away a 20 yr + relationship (9/10 of which are marriage) with three children under 7 and a beautiful wife without trying to salvage it. You don’t.
Because you just don’t! When there are little hearts involved you just DON’T! You try your hardest. If you don’t want to bother, you do it for them. Because you owe them that. Trust me! They’ll appreciate it more than any pair of UGG boots or MONCLER jacket. You owe your children the ability to say “my mum and dad tried”. You owe your wife answers (lots of them) and explanations, and more importantly AN APOLOGY.
But i’m guessing that’s not you. Maybe you find it easier to stick your head in the sand and let time pass because, as they say, time heals all wounds. But you know what? Some wounds fester. Be careful.
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